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Hi I'm Jane
I'ma distro slut.
I wasn't always a distroslut.
I started out trying distros on the weekends. Everyone did it. It was cool.
Then one day I tried a distro at work. I knew it was wrong but I had to try to get it to run.
Pretty soon I was trying distros every day.
I didn't care if I got caught.
I didn't care that they had no GUI.
My mother said they didn't do anything
I didn't care
I had to get them to run for me
I broke machines.
I fried monitors.
I started screwing with MACs.
People began to talk.
People complained that their machines worked BEFORE I got there.
I didn't care I had to try another distro.
My family started hiding their machines from me.
They begged me to stick to Windows or MACs.
Then one day I sold my car and bought a MOBO to run Slackware.
It never even booted once!
My family threatened to cut the power to the basement.
I saw myself for the first time.
I had been with Caldera and Slackware
I had been with Puppy Peanut and Pyro in the same week!
I had tried DSL Tiny and Debian in the same day!
I went with X, Ed and K Ubuntu
and all those floppies!
Floppie after floppie after floppie
Any coloured command propmt turned my head.
I had to face it.
I was a distro slut.

I swore off for good and returned to the MS flock.
I tried I really tried.
I pretended I was happy.
I even gave up my MACs and started MODing and harware hacking.
I knew I was on the straight and narrow.

Then I met a hot little distro from the GDR.
My family begged me not to but I knew Knoppix loved me.
This time it would be different.
Everything worked this time.
Nothing died.
Nothing fried.
I rescued data.
It even looked kinda Windowee.
But brothers it was all a sham!
Within a short time kernel progress led me right back to the distro lifestyle.
I would meet a cute distro and disappear with it for a weekend.
And then a week.
I hoarded USR externals and hid them from my family.
I began to experiment on other peoples machines again.
Before I knew it I was right back where I had been and worse.
I was a distro slut.

Today I have my problem under control
one day at a time
I know I will always be a distro slut but by the grace of Suse10 I don't have to run my OSX today.
I gave up my subscription beliefs, Bill doesn't really love me. I know that now.
I threw away my PowerMacs, Steve dosen't love me either
I know I don't have to fix machines that aren't broken.
I just feel their pain and pray for a hardware upgrade.
I limit my distros to whatever I can get to run
I know it's not right but
I am a distro slut.